In May last year I sat in front of my doctor, having diagnosed myself (rightly or wrongly) with the symptoms of premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD): feelings of depression, hopelessness and spiralling anxiety; severe mood swings and quite violent anger; feeling out of control and horribly overwhelmed; and, most worryingly, very dark thoughts that I would use to comfort myself, i.e. ‘there is always a way out of this if I need to take it’.
Some of it was my soul-destroying job and bad cultural fit at work, where the chat was usually about kids. I imagined that everyone around me was so preoccupied with their families that it compensated for everything else, distracted them from the day-to-day grind. It all added to my panicky fears of loneliness and getting older.
The GP gave me Seroxat: it filled my head with wet sand and rendered me unable to finish a sentence so I abandoned it after five days. But on the way out of the doc’s, she called me back and said: ‘Completely anecdotally, some women are having good results with red krill oil, but I can’t guarantee it would be effective‘ – I sneered inwardly: how could fish oil help me when I’d been shelling out on those expensive vitamin B horse pills for years, and they seemed to make me feel worse?
I reduced my working hours for the next seven months (highly recommended!) and felt better about work, but still had the erratic moods, foggy head and feelings of anger and anxiety. In February 2016 I happened to spot some extra-strength red krill oil on special offer, and I bought it on a whim.
I assure you that I am never given to fancy – I am the most sceptical of sceptics when it comes to unconventional ‘cures’ – but my head fog seemed to clear after a week, and I have felt better ever since: the moods have stabilised, the dark thoughts have gone, and I feel generally slightly elevated, like a switch has been flicked.
I don’t want to jinx it by saying all this, and I hope it isn’t a placebo effect, but I wanted to throw it out there in case anyone else would like to give it a try: there’s nothing to lose, after all, apart from maybe €20 a month.
(See other Microblog Mondays posts at Stirrup Queens here)